Liberty's Gray on honoring a former coach who inspired her

The message came in after I went to bed that night in early March, but I got it before dawn when I woke up the next day: Don Brown had passed away the previous evening.

I'd talked to him last a few weeks before, and he didn't sound so good. After watching both of my parents die from long illnesses, I know how a person's voice starts to sound when they're rounding the corner towards death. But because Don had beat the odds for so many years, I didn't quite believe it. How many times had he been told he had only three months to live? I'd lost count. And in the meantime, I went to family parties at Don's place, stopped by to watch some college women's hoops or WNBA games with him, and just generally shoot the breeze. His apartment was right on my way home from the gym, so it was an easy stop.

But this message, from Reshanda Gray, was telling me that at last, my friend had been unable to ward off the beast of cancer. I was heartbroken.

A week and a half later I was in a slightly-stuffy, packed church taking in his funeral. Family members, former athletes and longtime friends got up to speak one by one, and all had versions of the same facts: Don was a caring, giving person who did a lot to uplift and help people. It was a beautiful tribute. And Reshanda got to speak her piece too, via a phone, because she was still in Europe finishing her season. It was more than fitting, because Don talked about her all the time. Whenever I went to see him, he would always start a conversation about her.

I first met Reshanda when she was a 14-year-old freshman playing on her high school's JV team. It wasn't until she was a sophomore that she was named to varsity, and she shone instantly. By the end of the year, she was on most college's radars. I got to know Don, and supported Reshanda throughout her high school and college career.

Reshanda was drafted into the WNBA when she graduated from Cal, and she spent two years playing in the league. The third year, she was cut. The same thing happened the following spring. It stressed Don out. He would tell me what he was saying to her to help her improve her game, and how he was encouraging her to not give up.

"They've got to give Too Tall another chance," he'd say, using the nickname she got in high school.

Reshanda watched out for him, too. She picked up things for him, took him to the doctor, and made sure he was taken care of when she was overseas playing. It reminded me of the relationship that I still have with my mentor.

When Reshanda made the roster for the New York Liberty last month, I was overjoyed. And I was struck by the irony of it happening after Don had passed. But Reshanda had a jacket and a pair of shoes printed with his picture on them, to make it clear that Don lives on. I love that. And I talked to her about it.